I had just the topic, but as usual I lost it...

[gemfyre]

Someone make me do something stupid!!

I need to take a risk, I need to prove that I'm worth something.

I'm just so fucking scared of losing people I love and fucking myself up beyond repair.

But I WANT to do it to. I want to make people worried and excited and jealous and envious and everything dammit. And I've been trying to but when it all comes down it I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW. I also lack the bravery to do shit like that.

I'll jump out of a plane no problems (but not without a parachute!), but to me kisses are sacred and I'd be awfully reluctant to kiss another guy on the lips.

*sigh*

Sorry if I'm too sheltered and romantic, I just like things to be nice and simple, not a convoluted headfuck. I don't have time to be screwed up.

How do I unknot myself? If I could smooth out and untie my mind maybe I wouldn't always be so bloody exhausted.

I don't know what is the truth and what is my skewed perception. Why do I feel like the only one that is seen as needing to change? Does no-one else believe in self-improvement? Or are you all content to wallow in your lots and complain you never have enough, instead of doing something about it?
*frustrate*

Why can't we all change a little and meet in the middle? Why does no-one believe in compromise, I feel like I'm doing all the work and having to transform into someone else. Why is everyone else perfect and not me??

Comments

[riverstar.livejournal.com]

Bj
Do you know how mant times i have wished that i had myself as together as you do...
but alas as confident as we all may seem we are all a bunch of neurotic messes under the surface.

As for doing something stupid...look at me i do it all the time:)