gemfyre | Ouch

I feel like someone's taking a knife to my stomach. I just want it to go away but it's one of those feelings that will just have to fade over time.

Some I can forgive easily, others will take a bit longer.

I just wanna be in Matt's arms and talking for... however long we need. But in real life you must get on with real life for a while. So we will.

I clear my mind and calm down then that horrible vision just comes flashing back and I wanna rush to the toilet and puke my guts up.

Ouch... ah well, I'm gonna limp off and have a bath and try to settle down again.

I feel dirty, violated and betrayed by a person I thought was a good friend and that I trusted.

And on the other hand I'm forgiving and loving, I can't hate who I love, and I know now more than ever that I can trust them.

Maybe it's bias, but that's what happens when you love someone. It's gonna take every ounce of effort in me not to cling NOW, but I musn't. I have to do things for my self and be independent, then we can discover just why we love each other again.