Ouch

[gemfyre]

I feel like someone's taking a knife to my stomach. I just want it to go away but it's one of those feelings that will just have to fade over time.

Some I can forgive easily, others will take a bit longer.

I just wanna be in Matt's arms and talking for... however long we need. But in real life you must get on with real life for a while. So we will.

I clear my mind and calm down then that horrible vision just comes flashing back and I wanna rush to the toilet and puke my guts up.

Ouch... ah well, I'm gonna limp off and have a bath and try to settle down again.

I feel dirty, violated and betrayed by a person I thought was a good friend and that I trusted.

And on the other hand I'm forgiving and loving, I can't hate who I love, and I know now more than ever that I can trust them.

Maybe it's bias, but that's what happens when you love someone. It's gonna take every ounce of effort in me not to cling NOW, but I musn't. I have to do things for my self and be independent, then we can discover just why we love each other again.

Comments

[chiefie.livejournal.com]

I am not sure what is going on...but I think you need a HUG

**runs and holds you tightly**

there are tons of people that care about you! Like me..I know I don't post often in your LJ but I do enjoy reading it and getting to know you! and you are a wonderful person! :-D

[ex-myladysi.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time, sweetpea. I wish I knew what to say to help, although I know that probably nothing will. Just know that I'm here for you, if you need/want to talk. ::warm hugs::

[sam234uk.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you have to go through this....the only thing that works though is time.
Just try to get through each day, don't look too far ahead.
((hugs)) (((big big hugs)))