gemfyre | (no subject)

Last night Matt headed off to gaming and I was behind him, so I backed out of the driveway and he backed halfway then stopped and waved me over. Immediately I knew what must have happened. Lil was laying on the driveway, looking quite calm.

"Are you sure you hit her?"
"Yeah, I felt the bump."

Matt tried to pick her up and she peed on him and bit him. He went inside to change and get the catbox and I had a closer look at her. One of her back legs was dangly and she couldn't walk on it. She went into the cat carrier easily, as she has done the last few visits.

Her pelvis was fractured. Treatment would have cost in the thousands and seeing as she's old and not 100% healthy anyway (there is almost certainly something up with her thyroid or kidneys, even if it doesn't show in blood tests.) The chances of her surviving anaesthetic and treatment were small anyway.

I always said, when the cancers on her nose start bothering her, I'll do what I have to do. What was alarming was how damn calm she was with a fractured pelvis - an injury that would have a human screaming blue murder. Perhaps her nose was really bothering her and we had no way of knowing.

Then I was more worried about Bella missing her friend that me missing her. I had to decide there and then. I couldn't have brought her back home to say goodbye to Bella, not in that condition. So I put her on my lap for a while and patted her and she purred softly. Then I gave her to the vet and asked her to take care of her. I let them dispose of the body - it's an old, decrepit thing anyway. Where she is now she has a new body that's in perfect working order.

Gah, and now I'm crying again.