Another dishes rant

[gemfyre]

I don't mind washing the dishes really.

I just wish I'd get a bit of gratitude or even acknoweldgement for doing it. I feel like a forgotten housewife rather than a housemate. I do the daily chores most of the time and have to tell the housemates if I want them to do it because somehow they're blind to the ever growing pile of dirty dishes on the counter. I asked Matt to wash the dishes yesterday and he told me "But I did them a few days ago." Yes, a few days ago, and you did HALF the load that was there then and just abandoned the rest. I have done the rest of that load and at least 2 washes since because yaknow, people eat during the day and create dishes and most normal households do the dishes once a day and it never gets to great piles that need to be done in two parts.

"You create most of the dishes." Yes - on food we all eat. Again, most households the cook is the one that DOESN'T do the dishes because they do the cooking. Instead as usual I have to ask and feel like I'm a mother.

I just want a little acknowledgement and/or gratitude. See how that pile (you did see that pile right?) is suddenly gone (please tell me you noticed that too). That's because I washed them. Just say thanks or something. I usually say thanks when you do some housework, I feel guilty if I don't. Yet you two don't even realise I've done dishes.

Comments

[emu-bitter-babe.livejournal.com]

That sucks arse.

You should just cook only enuff for yourself for a week and then leave all yer dishes about ;)

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

I would but it's totally impractical and wastes a lot of money and food.

I like cooking also. At least I get thanks for that.

[renyara.livejournal.com]

I had a friend who felt the same way, so she stopped doing the dishes, there was a disgusting pile up for about a fortnight. But her housemates got the message and they're all very good at taking turns now.

[dormant-dragon.livejournal.com]

Understand the lack of appreciation thing, in more than just the dishes thing - at least I now have a housemate who does the dishes on about the same level of regularity that I do (unlike previously mentioned former housemate who was like the grasshoppers on Bug's Life - they come, they eat, they leave *the dishes lying about*)

Work, too - in my current jobs, my work is much more frequently appreciated and I don't have everything I do called into question by people who think they know better.

[firvulag.livejournal.com]

I saw you'd done the dishes today. I saw you did them like I do, fill the rack, fill the sink and leave the rest. I saw it like that and put the dishes away, ready for the next lot of dishes to be done.

the case you mentioned I did them friday, it was sunday, I think it's fair enough i shouldn't have expected the dishes to be needing doing, let alone having to do them since they'd been done three times by you inbetween. If other people were around to dry when I wash, I'd do the whole load, but that never seems to happen.

Often the piles of dishes you wash are ones you've just created, so I don't get to see them.

It seems that you bring this up all the time, but you don't want to change the method of doing them. It's such a problem, maybe it's time to make a roster or something

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

I did do the whole lot of dishes today. The dirty stuff there was stuff I created after doing the dishes (cuz I made bikkies and bread, which I needed clean dishes for).

A roster would be good. We'd just need a guarantee that they would be done on the rostered day.

[just-laura.livejournal.com]

Stop doing it. They'll appreciate you when they see what happens when you stop doing the ol' invisible housework.

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

I do the daily chores most of the time and have to tell the housemates if I want them to do it because somehow they're blind to the ever growing pile of dirty dishes on the counter.

The kitchen is your area. You need the dishs more than anyone for what you do so I leave it to you as to when they need to be done. I mean the only washing up I made today was a fork and a chinese take-away container; and the chinese take-away container is being washed rather than thrown out because you said that they come in handy.

I asked Matt to wash the dishes yesterday and he told me "But I did them a few days ago." Yes, a few days ago, and you did HALF the load that was there then and just abandoned the rest. I have done the rest of that load and at least 2 washes since because yaknow, people eat during the day and create dishes and most normal households do the dishes once a day and it never gets to great piles that need to be done in two parts.

I have done the dishes every single time that you have asked. If you don't want to do the dishes the obvious answer is really to ask me and not do them; not to do them and then complain after them. If you really don't want to do the dishes then the latter obviously isn't the answer; or perhaps you'd like to explain your insistence that it's better to bitch about the dishes than ask someone else to do them. Also, if this is some extension of an argument between you and Matt then leave me out of it.

I just want a little acknowledgement and/or gratitude. See how that pile (you did see that pile right?) is suddenly gone (please tell me you noticed that too). That's because I washed them. Just say thanks or something. I usually say thanks when you do some housework, I feel guilty if I don't. Yet you two don't even realise I've done dishes.

Of course I realise you've done the dishes. It's not like you let me forget with the amount of bitching and complaining you do about them. The fact is that I am not going to engage you on a subject such as this where all I've heard from you is this complaining... I'm not going to go looking for that.

It's not like you've actually thanked me any of the times that I have done the dishes either. It's as if it's some sort of twisted one way street. You've said nothing positive on this matter at all.

Seriously either come to me before it comes to bitching or you and your dishs and whatever meals you cook you can just keep to yourself. Either way don't continuously go around behind my back belittling me because I'm not going to take it.

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'd like to take turns, but BJ has already said that it wouldn't work.

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't mind if she stopped doing it if it meant that she'd stop doing it and then complaining afterwards that she'd done it.

[just-laura.livejournal.com]

I understand. ^_^ ::mediates:: ^_~

Sounds like a lot of excuses you're getting to me...

[peppermintrose.livejournal.com]

I think they need to learn to do the dishes without having to be asked ;) *cough* A house is a house, everyone must pitch in.

Re: Sounds like a lot of excuses you're getting to me...

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

That's what my brain thinks as well.

I'm a housemate, not a mother.

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know I should just ask.

Just this part of my brain saying "You're not their mother, you're their housemate, you shouldn't have to ask."

Maybe I should just tell my brain to bugger off.

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

It could be much worse. You could be my Dad.

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

What the heck do we need a guarantee for? If I was supposed to do the dishes on a certain day then I would... I've never said otherwise.

Re: Sounds like a lot of excuses you're getting to me...

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

And I think that BJ needs to learn to come to her housemates with these problems first without going to her online friends.

Who says I haven't been pitching int? To my knowledge I've done about as much vaccuuming as BJ has; and I've tended the garden about as much as BJ has; I've tidied the loungeroom, laundry and storeroom as much as BJ has; and I've paid towards the household budget as much as BJ has. I've even gone along on the household shopping when she and Matt don't conspire to go and leave me out of it.

I've even let her store her stuff all over the house and yet she still goes on about how small her room is. Never mind the fact that the guy next to her has exactly the same size room and not a fraction of the amount of stuff stored outside of it; or the fact that someone always leaves junk laying around on my trundle.

Re: Sounds like a lot of excuses you're getting to me...

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

And whenever I've caught her doing the washing up I have always done the wiping up, which is more than I can say for her.

As for excuses, everything that she's quoted is from the other housemate Matt; her boyfriend.

Re: Sounds like a lot of excuses you're getting to me...

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

My father never asked me to do the washing up. He'd just do it and I'd do the wiping up. And sometimes when he was out I would do the washing up. As such I have no idea why you're bringing your mother into it or the word 'should'.

And he would always say thank you to me for doing the wiping up or the washing up... unlike you.

Re: Sounds like a lot of excuses you're getting to me...

[tw-starshine.livejournal.com]

Three words: get.. a.. roster. Divide chores as equally as possible and address people when they slack off. I think it's amazing you guys managed to get along at all without it. 6_6 When I was living in a house, we all had to take turns (getting groceries, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen, and so on). Those areas are used by EVERYONE. Saying things like 'the kitchen is your area' is another way of trying to get rid of your own responsibility.

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

Umm... The kitchen is her area. BJ is the one with the multitude of kitchen gadgets that's always cooking and baking and whatnot whereas I just heat up take-away twice a week and maybe a pastry or a cheese-mite roll or get a bowl of cereal. Maybe once a week I use an appliance that isn't the microwave and on the weekends I hardly eat in at all.

So, what's wrong with saying the kitchen is BJ's area? It is. I mean, just because I'm saying that she's the one that should organise who's doing the washing up means that I'm evading responsibility? I'm not the one who said that a roster wouldn't work.

Perhaps we could just end this conversation now?