You know you're an Aussie if
Sep. 10th, 2004 10:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gemfyreYour next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia...
The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque.
You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'. - They're PRAWNS not shrimp! Shrimp is a strictly American term.
You sleep with Aeroguard on.
You're wearing a cap emblazoned with 'Get A Dog Up Ya.' - Haha, and only an Aussie would understand.
You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it. - I actually prefer Sanitarium Marmite because it's milder (apparently proper English marmite is STRONGER than Vegemite).
You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols. - It's so sad.
You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition.
Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard. - But he looks like Mister Sheen, it's just ASKING for it!
The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies. - They come in 7 day packs now.
A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet.
The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs. - Go Rolf!!
Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!" - You see why it bugs me so much when "damn" and "hell" are censored on message boards?
All of your internationally famous people don't live here. - And many of them weren't born here either. ;) A lot of them are Kiwis.
You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).
You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates? - I DETEST cricket. The b/f on the other hand loves it.
You don't drink Fosters, but you let the world think you do. - I hate beer in general.
The only thing better than beating the Poms at ANY sport is giving them shit for it.
You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'
You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.
You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer. - Not me myself, but I do see many wankers with these cars. It seems if you get behind the wheel of a Commodore or Falcon you suddenly lose all ability to drive properly.
Driving down the main street/beach road playing bad techno is your idea of a perfect Saturday night / Sunday arvo. - Not techno, Aussie rock! And go the bog lap.
You make kooky films, sometimes about wayward road trips (across the outback preferably). Quite a few are crap. - And then you get Priscilla Queen Of The Desert.
You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem. - I know the first two verses of the anthem! But I do know ALL the words to Khe Sahn.
Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'. - For a very brief period in high school friends started to call me "Bazza", I put a stop to that quick smart.
You have a customised stubby holder.
Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK.
You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it. - Only one I haven't used is "exo".
Your cooking apron has plastic breasts on it.
The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past.
The blokes at the local gym think your weight training is an opportunity to ask you out on a date.
The big national sporting events are men-only.
Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up.
The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.
An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.
You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game.
You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.
The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.
Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna shag?' and 'Carn, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation.
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You realise you have no Bill of Rights.
The first thing guaranteed to get eaten at parties is fairy bread.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Australia.
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no subject
Date: 2004-09-10 02:59 pm (UTC)Hehe. That one's going on my lj :)
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Date: 2004-09-10 03:59 pm (UTC)... I say 'Rad' now and then, but usually when I'm trying to be lame.
That word is too big, for the majority of the populace.
"Oi! Cock a leg up!" - Can be heard screeched from a car. =p
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Date: 2004-09-10 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-13 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-13 03:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-10 06:49 pm (UTC)Good one Gem :) I might be a Pom, but most of those reflect my idea of a stereotypical Aussie!
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Date: 2004-09-10 07:31 pm (UTC)~falls over laughing~ stubby holder!!!!!
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Date: 2004-09-11 12:28 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-09-13 03:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-13 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-11 06:33 am (UTC)Hehehehehe so many people don't.