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[personal profile] gemfyre
(okay, so Cognitive dissonance is not meaning what I think it is meaning. But the phrase was thrown around with the concepts below. It doesn't matter what the term is, but what I've written does matter).

You've heard it all your life - "There's no such thing as can't.", "Nothing is impossible.", even Monty Python said it with "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life".  As angsty teenagers (and unfortunately many have dragged it into adulthood) we shunned it and dubbed it "stupid".

But you know what?  The Python crew are right.

I only recently learned the phrase Cognitive Dissonance but I've known the concept for a while now, and in the last year broken out of it.

Cognitive dissonance is pretty much just making excuses so you don't get things done.  And too many people do it.  They sit around all day being miserable twats, "Oh, I missed the bus this morning, my day is RUINED!", "Everyone hates me.", "I can't do that, I'm useless."  etc. etc.  These people wake up in the morning and pretty much decide there and then that their day will be shitty and act from there.  They don't DO anything because they know they've set themselves up for failure already and therefore may as well not try.  They're apathetic and just sit around wasting air because they don't think they can make a difference.

I used to be guilty of it myself.  It can be tough to break out of the rut but once you're out and look back you wonder what was so hard.

You have a choice to be a miserable so-and-so or be happy, lively and useful.  Once you get to the other side, when something bad happens, sure it gets you down for a bit, but soon you find yourself saying, "Okay, that sucked.  What can I learn from it?  How can I turn it to my advantage?"  And you DO it.  You find yourself being interested.  You find that you're more healthy.  People prefer to be around who shines rather than someone that makes them feel like shit as well.  Why on earth someone would choose to be miserable and apathetic I cannot fathom anymore.  And it right pisses me off to see so many people around me still thinking that way.

So, all you miserable, apathetic, lazy peeps out there *looks pointedly at a few people*.  CHOOSE to be happy and make something of you life instead of sitting around like a sack of meat all day.  You'll feel a whole let better for it.  Trust me, I know from experience.

Date: 2004-08-03 10:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirazz.livejournal.com
You can't make someone change who doesn't want to.
"intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness..."
It's very true, depression can be a pretty comfortable place. It's sort of like a drug addict having to hit rock bottom before they quit.

I think that the most important thing with a major change of any sort is to do it slowly so then it's easier to maintain.
You know what - a few weeks og hanging at FRF did more good for my mental state than 6 years of therapy. It was also good to go to the RSPCA, feed the soul.
Speaking of which....could you see if that kitten I'm obsessing over has been released or adopted already or still recouping or something?
That'd rock :)

I applaud you for improving yourself because no one else will do it for you. i've only known you a short time & you seem pretty together & you're right - it feels good to be around people like that. It's inspiring. There's only so much of everyone's problems that they're not doing anything about that you can cope hearing about. Everyone goes through shitty times & that's where the whole being there for your friends comes in. It's when you've heard the same thing from the same person for months & years that it gets old. I don't know many of the people I used to hang around with - it's just too hard, I've done all I can do.
If I knew what I wanted to do, I'd do it. I'm still figuring that out but if all I do do is look after the house & the cats & my partner & I feel happy & content doing that then why not, you know?

Date: 2004-08-03 10:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gemfyre.livejournal.com
Yeah, I was pretty snug being depressed and down a lot too.

Then something happened mid last year which was a complete slap in the face for me. I could easily have let it tear me apart, but it seems I went the other way, and I'm grateful for that.

Date: 2004-08-03 03:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirazz.livejournal.com
It's like being a moody teenager just didn't stop when the acne did.
I hate my brain chemicals, I think Exxon must have had a shipping route through my head or something...

Date: 2004-08-03 10:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stawberi.livejournal.com
Cognitive dissonance... that reminds me very much of STAR and Frodsham. From what I gathered... well, to tell the truth, I still have pretty much no idea what it means.

Date: 2004-08-03 11:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gemfyre.livejournal.com
Mmm STAR, I did LATU. :)

Date: 2004-08-03 11:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nakedcelt.livejournal.com
That's odd — I thought cognitive dissonance was the discomfort you feel when you realize a belief you've long cherished doesn't make sense. Like when I heard two little boys wondering, in distinctly worried tones, how a Christmas present could be both from Daddy and from Santa Claus.

Date: 2004-08-03 11:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gemfyre.livejournal.com
Yeah, it is.

My lecturer kinda fudged the definition it seems.

He's still a very cool lecturer and was properly chided by me today when I pointed out that he had written "looser" on the slide instead of "loser".

Date: 2004-08-03 11:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolflullaby.livejournal.com
*Woohoo*

This is definately a wonderful thing to go through, and I agree with Shirazz - You can't make anyone else change even though (if you are like me) you want to save everyone, the best way is to lead by example. If everyday you seem happier, more passionate and more in control of your life and your emotions other people will start asking what your secret is, and that is where you make your converts!

I heard something great from Anthony Robbins; he said that problems can be hard to overcome when they feel like they are permanent, pervasive (effect all areas of your life), and personal (your addictions etc. are part of your personality). Too true. :)

Date: 2004-08-03 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gemfyre.livejournal.com
you want to save everyone
hehe, yeah I know that feeling. That's pretty much why I wrote this post (and the fact that Dingle went on about it in today's lecture and again I was just nodding and smiling and agreeing with everything he said).

I try to lead by example, but no-one has asked me my secret yet. *waits*

Date: 2004-08-03 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sternenglanz.livejournal.com
"Nothing is impossible." It's true. Many things are highly unlikely, though, and when you've gotten up every day with a smile and continue to be met with rejection and defeat, it becomes a little hard to smell the flowers and sing in the shower.

Sure, things can turn around. But sometimes they don't for a very long time. If your mother is sick, or you've been pounding the pavement looking for work for over a year, or you're faced with any of millions of other problems that won't just iron themselves out with a little can-do attitude and elbow grease, you feel defeated. That's not a crime or a sin or even an unhealthy outlook; it's life.

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade -- they ignore the fact that lemonade requires sugar and a glass and a pitcher and a spoon and clean water and a way to strain the seeds... Sometimes, you're just left with lemons. You don't have to like lemons; while you do need to find a way to get all those other things to turn your life around, it's not necessary to slap on a happy face and act like it's a challenge worthy of a musical theater production.

I've been up and I've been down, and while up is a lot more fun it can't last without being being buoyed by real results.

Date: 2004-08-04 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowshifter.livejournal.com
ehm. the "angsty teenager" phase must have been something else i missed along with "planning how many boys and girls you're going to have and what their names will be" and "what my wedding dress will look like" o_O

i think as well too many people rely on other people to make them happy instead of being responsible for their own happiness which may be partly why there are so many determined pessimists out there, they lay the blame on everyone and everything else for their own unhappiness.

if you need a quick perk whinge at a good friend or two, theyre awesome cheeruppers (never underestimate the power of a good rant ;) or go beat the crap out of a bag (kung fu is very good for that). things jes seem so much more manageable after that, specially if youre in one of those major downswings where nothing seems to be going right and its hard to tell if that light at the other end of the tunnel is the other end or an approaching train ;)

Date: 2004-08-04 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jet-ski.livejournal.com
the punching bag bit reminds me of fight club....
'after fighting its like everything else has the sound turned down'

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