File under - "Procastinating from doing essay that badly needs doing within the next few days"

[gemfyre]

Oooerr, a few kinda deep and meaningful thoughts I've been having about myself and who I am lately.

Hypersense

I think I am hypersensetive - or at least moreso than most people I know. When I say hypersensitive I don't mean that if you insult me I'll be greatly offended and run off crying - if you try to insult me I'll most likely stare at you like you're some interesting bug then walk away. I mean my senses seem to be hyperalert.

I have full 20/20 vision and use it. Things many people find boring I can find interest in looking at - I HAVE watched paint dry and I find the Nullabor fascinating whereas most people would want to fall asleep along there. I couldn't fall asleep because I was afraid I might miss something.

I am acutely sensitive to heat and cold. Everyone knows how I just can't handle the cold weather and I don't handle the heat very well either - but usually a little better than I handle cold. Objects that are a bit hot that most people can handle I can't. They feel way too hot to hold for me. And even now, when I'm guessing the ambient temperature is around 17 or so (celcius), my fingertips feel numb. I just rugged myself up in tracksuit pants and a big jumper because I was freezing in my dressing gown.

My sense of touch is also alert. I am very ticklish. A hand run down my backbone (or just near the skin) gives me tingles. A gentle pinch or bite hurts me more than it seems to hurt others (especially in particular areas).

My hearing - I've always known that is good. I remember every single bar of some songs and when I hear them in my head it's like it's actually playing on a radio nearby. I can hear the high pitched whine of Matt's computer (and be driven crazy by it) whereas he is deaf to it. I'm becoming very good at picking and identifying bird calls. When I go to sleep my hearing seems to shut off long after my other senses have. I can never fully sleep in a noisy area - my ears are always alert.

My sense of smell is good - and I also use my mouth as well as my nose to smell. I don't think reptiles are the only animals with scent receptors in the roofs of their mouths. I find if I breathe in a scent through both my mouth and nose I can smell it better. And I remember smells - but I'll get to that later.

And taste. I adore food. I don't like spices that kill the sense of my tastebuds at all though. Hence my dislike of things like chilli and pepper - all they do is make my mouth burn painfully and dull the flavour of anything else. But on the other hand here - I cannot differentiate between wines. All reds taste the same (like "a red") and all whites taste the same (like "a white") to me. I can appreciate sweeter, fortified wines, but overall I dislike the bitter, chemical flavour of alcohol.

So. After I have sensed and seen and heard everything around me (you may not think I notice, but believe me, I notice a lot more than you'd think) - I REMEMBER it. My death is going to take forever just because it will take that long for my life to flash before my eyes. From 5 years old I have vivid memories of many events - especially our yearly holidays, whenever mum wants to know what year we went where she asks me because I remember, I can tell you were we stayed, what the accomodation was like, what we did, what we ate on some nights, what music we listened to. I remember the vibe of the moments as well. I can recall the tastes and smells. Some of these memories from over ten years ago I remember as if they happened yesterday.

I remember at Cue caravan park (I was 7 at the time) I had a fight with mum and dad and refused to come down from my bunk for dinner. When I eventually did we had a casserole which I didn't like much anyway.

I remember sitting in the back of the Tarago eating almond Magnums outside of Mammoth Caves.

I remember eating fish and chips in Nanna Forbes' front yard when I was no more than 5 years old. There were dandelion blossoms floating in the air. I wrote about it in my school diary - in crayon on butchers paper.

I remember what I thought and what I said and what I felt. My short term memory is useless - but long term life memories are etched in my brain.

It seems most people I know only see the surface. Unless a sensation is loud or intense it isn't noticed. I like having heightened senses, but sometimes I feel like I'd like to be... I don't know, normal, and not notice so much because it seems to distract from some things.

Comments

[shadowshifter.livejournal.com]

normal? NORMAL?! pffft where's the fun in that :P

if you were "normal" you'd miss absolutely all the things that you say you love right now (like you wouldn't be as good at finding birds coz you wouldnt have a clue where they were coming from).

[just-laura.livejournal.com]

I'm really, really sensitive to heat and cold, too--I also hate cold much more. I don't know how anyone can manage to drink coffee or tea at the temperature it's served; I can't even hold the cup! I'm a light sleeper, too--it's horrible. Our bunny hops around Jason's apartment during the day, but if I'm over he has to put him back in his cage for the night because, though Jason sleeps right through it, I wake up immediately and can't get back to sleep if the bunny hops into the room.

My vision is terrible, though. ^_^ People must think I'm dreadfully rude; I never recognize them.

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

I sleep like a rock once I finally get to sleep.

[princessapphire.livejournal.com]

I remember smells and tastes quite well too. In fact, even without knowing where or if I've ever smelled it I knew what burning skin smelled like.

I had liver once when I was VERY little and although I haven't been around it since I still remember exactly what it smells and tastes like. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

[lavender-lace.livejournal.com]

I smell the same way when I'm really trying to smell something. But I think the air actually tastes differently when there's a smell. I "smell" it more on my tongue than anywhere else in my mouth. I'm the same way about most of the things you listed actually. Drives me nuts sometimes. Chili peppers used to burn my mouth something horrible, but I've learned to tolerate the heat. Now I can taste the differences. Took me probably years of conditioning though...I can't remember when I started trying to eat hot things. (10, 12?) Wine, IMO is a learned thing...kind of like with coffees. Unless someone is pointing certain aspects out it will probably go unnoticed.

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

I can't stand coffee either - tastes foul to me. I don't mind the smell of fresh coffee beans however.

hey belinda

[mummy2kieran.livejournal.com]

My friend just told me that she bought some stuff on ebay from ya :P

She saw my pic in ur homepage.....lol the real disgusting one of me.

how ya doing these days!

[morninglord.livejournal.com]

You would want to be normal? To be half blind and partly deaf, to be numbed and unable to smell clearly? To see the world through a fog? You would really want that, just so you can concentrate on boring, everyday things? I certainly wish I could see the world like you do. To sense it in the same way, to feel the vibrant atmosphere of wherever I was. That's living life gemfyre, in a way that no amount of concentrating on paper or computers or whatever else will ever, ever give you, or be able to replace. It's a precious ability. Cherish it and revel in it, I say!

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

Oh I do, I do.

It's just an idle thought - but you knew that.

[morninglord.livejournal.com]

I was just making sure. Sometimes idle thoughts grow a life of their own, festering in your subconcious like a cancerous growth, eating away at you. Dessicate them immediately with positive affirmations, that's what I say! ^_^

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

They used to do that occaisionally.

Now I have a much better grip on my mind and don't let it wander into such nasty areas.

Now if I only I could get it to focus on this assignment and get the damn thing DONE.

[shirazz.livejournal.com]

I'm really ticklish - I'd swap that for being able to see anyday!
My sense of taste is so important to me. Good wine, good food - I'm happy.

[kid-deviant.livejournal.com]

"I remember eating fish and chips in Nanna Forbes' front yard when I was no more than 5 years old. There were dandelion blossoms floating in the air. I wrote about it in my school diary - in crayon on butchers paper."

That sounds so pretty! That little comment has managed to brighten up my day, how sad!