Message To My Girl

I don't wanna say I love you
That would give away too much
It's hip to be detatched and precious
The only thing you feel is vicious

I don't wanna say I want you
Even tho I want you so much
It's wrapped up in conversation
It's whispered in a hush

Tho I'm frightened by the word
I think it's time that it was heard

No more empty self-obsession
Vision swept under the mat
It's no new years resolution
It's more than that

And now I wake up happy
Warm in a lover's embrace
No-one else can touch us
While we're in this place

So I sing it to the world
A simple message to my girl

No more empty self-obsession
Vision swept under the mat
It's no new years resolution
It's more than that

Tho I'm frightened by the word
I think it's time I made it heard
So I'll sing it to the world
A simple message to my girl

No more empty self-obsession
Vision swept under the mat
It's no new years resolution
It's more than that

And there's nothing quite as real
As the touch of your sweet hand
I can't spend the rest of my life
Living in the sand


Played that on the radio today. Felt weird. I'd like to sing that at karaoke if they have it, which I don't think they do. I know it's from a male point of view but I don't care. The song is just beautiful.

Message To My Girl

I don't wanna say I love you
That would give away too much
It's hip to be detatched and precious
The only thing you feel is vicious

I don't wanna say I want you
Even tho I want you so much
It's wrapped up in conversation
It's whispered in a hush

Tho I'm frightened by the word
I think it's time that it was heard

No more empty self-obsession
Vision swept under the mat
It's no new years resolution
It's more than that

And now I wake up happy
Warm in a lover's embrace
No-one else can touch us
While we're in this place

So I sing it to the world
A simple message to my girl

No more empty self-obsession
Vision swept under the mat
It's no new years resolution
It's more than that

Tho I'm frightened by the word
I think it's time I made it heard
So I'll sing it to the world
A simple message to my girl

No more empty self-obsession
Vision swept under the mat
It's no new years resolution
It's more than that

And there's nothing quite as real
As the touch of your sweet hand
I can't spend the rest of my life
Living in the sand


Played that on the radio today. Felt weird. I'd like to sing that at karaoke if they have it, which I don't think they do. I know it's from a male point of view but I don't care. The song is just beautiful.

Yowch

I cramped my leg up this morning (the calf muscle). Goddamn it hurt, still vaguely aches. I hope I didn't swear aloud in my sleep, I know I was swearing my head off mentally.

I've been doing this alot lately, some of the time I catch it but alot of the time I don't.

You stretch your legs, you feel a niggle coming and you either a) quickly bend your leg back and decide you'll stretch properly later or b) are suddenly in immense pain from cramp.

Yowch

I cramped my leg up this morning (the calf muscle). Goddamn it hurt, still vaguely aches. I hope I didn't swear aloud in my sleep, I know I was swearing my head off mentally.

I've been doing this alot lately, some of the time I catch it but alot of the time I don't.

You stretch your legs, you feel a niggle coming and you either a) quickly bend your leg back and decide you'll stretch properly later or b) are suddenly in immense pain from cramp.

*sigh*

So much for making a large dent in my lab report today.

It's now 5pm and I have only written 2 sentences.

The weather outside however is absolutely lovely, so I have been outdoors and it's made me feel a heap better.

*sigh*

So much for making a large dent in my lab report today.

It's now 5pm and I have only written 2 sentences.

The weather outside however is absolutely lovely, so I have been outdoors and it's made me feel a heap better.

I don't know...

 

I don't know...

 

a tad down again

If for the moment we are just friends then I wish it could be like the rest of our friends. I wish I could just be over and go for walks and bum around and watch movies and stuff. Really, we only see/saw each other on the weekends and Mondays and it's the whole damn distance problem and I me feeling this way is one of the main problems but what the hell can I do???

I am stuck up here, a million miles away from all my friends and I JUST WANT TO BE SPONTANEOUS, like everyone else, and I can't, and this is the main big problem with me but I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!

It would change how I feel if I could change my circumstances. But everyone and every thing just wants to fuck me around and keep me stuck here. *sobs*

*screams*

a tad down again

If for the moment we are just friends then I wish it could be like the rest of our friends. I wish I could just be over and go for walks and bum around and watch movies and stuff. Really, we only see/saw each other on the weekends and Mondays and it's the whole damn distance problem and I me feeling this way is one of the main problems but what the hell can I do???

I am stuck up here, a million miles away from all my friends and I JUST WANT TO BE SPONTANEOUS, like everyone else, and I can't, and this is the main big problem with me but I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!

It would change how I feel if I could change my circumstances. But everyone and every thing just wants to fuck me around and keep me stuck here. *sobs*

*screams*

Uni...

How am I meant to work on anything uni related when so much other shit is happening??

I'd love to just take a break, but in today's fucked up society and my parent's rule I am unable *cries*

Uni...

How am I meant to work on anything uni related when so much other shit is happening??

I'd love to just take a break, but in today's fucked up society and my parent's rule I am unable *cries*

Stress

They always say, "oh if you're stressed you should take it easy, get away from what is stressing you, make time for yourself" etc etc etc.

I'd like to see one of these people put themselves in my shoes and then try and tell me HOW I am meant to do any of this.

Stress

They always say, "oh if you're stressed you should take it easy, get away from what is stressing you, make time for yourself" etc etc etc.

I'd like to see one of these people put themselves in my shoes and then try and tell me HOW I am meant to do any of this.

Freedom...

I don't know if this is the right thing to say, but I need to say it.

You don't realise how much freedom you have. Sure, there are many shortcomings but you deal with them and live. You managed to get out from your parents control early on but still retained their support. You live where you want to live. You can do whatever the hell you want. If you feel you aren't dealing with a unit you can just drop out and not suffer for it. I just discovered this morning that it won't just cut my pay a little, they won't give me anything AT ALL. Alot of your friends live close to you and you can just see them whenever and have fun, I can't. I am so restricted and I can't do a thing about it and all I need is a little empathy and effort.

Dammit I was feeling good earlier.

*teary*

Freedom...

I don't know if this is the right thing to say, but I need to say it.

You don't realise how much freedom you have. Sure, there are many shortcomings but you deal with them and live. You managed to get out from your parents control early on but still retained their support. You live where you want to live. You can do whatever the hell you want. If you feel you aren't dealing with a unit you can just drop out and not suffer for it. I just discovered this morning that it won't just cut my pay a little, they won't give me anything AT ALL. Alot of your friends live close to you and you can just see them whenever and have fun, I can't. I am so restricted and I can't do a thing about it and all I need is a little empathy and effort.

Dammit I was feeling good earlier.

*teary*

The vicious circle of things

I need to finish degree at uni so I can get job/money/life
My friends are doing similar things, or already have job/life
I live far away from friends
I live far away from uni
Friends often do stuff together and I miss out because my distance doesn't allow me to just be like "oh I'll be over in 5", it's more like 1 hour
It takes me an hour to get to uni
Therefore - LOTS of time wasted in commute

Okay, why not throw yourself into uni work while you're stuck at home??
I am preoccupied keeping up with friends online seeing I can't do stuff with them
I am preoccupied just feeling left out cuz they can do stuff and I can't
I am depressed about it all
Therefore - Assignments just don't get done, I start failing stuff, I get more depressed

My parents drive me insane wanting to run my life and treat me like a five year old. Sure, I get a hell of a lot from them but I desperately need my freedom before I go insane.

Okay, option 1) So, move out, be near your friends and improve your social life and that will lead to better uni performance
Easier said than done
Moving out involves LOTS of money, which I lack
Centerlink will give me very little because I am a student and under 25 and am not considered independent for some pathetic reason
I have a cat that I love dearly that lives here and I wouldn't want to move her from the house she has lived at all her life, but I'd miss her like crazy if I moved out
There is a spa here
There is room here
I get free food and other comforts here
My ponies fit here (in the spare room)
I like this house, I just detest it's location

Option 2) Drop out of the unit you're failing and concentrate on the two you're doing good at. If you drop out your grade point average won't suffer.
If I drop out of this unit I will be doing under 15 hours per week which constitues a full load
This will affect my Youth Allowance payments a little
Or so I thought
I ring them and enquire
I find out that I get NOTHING if I do below a full load
I can apply for Newstart, and get alot of money, but I have to be looking for full time work
HELLO!! I am studying!!
I could pretend to look, but they would know I am studying and if you rort and are found out you get penalised alot
Why does it not surprise me that most people give the rort a go?
Therefore - I am screwed by Centerstink either way
I deal with a fail on my GPA, this unit IS NOT happening, the others barely are either

I drop out of uni altogether - my parents go spaz at me
Parents don't understand that I can't just "make friends around here" or "work harder and pass". My friends are ELSEWHERE and they are my FRIENDS, I want to be with THEM! And my brain just is not working because my circumstances have got me hideously depressed
Parents can't understand how me moving out could be better for me

Caught between a rock and a hard place some

The vicious circle of things

I need to finish degree at uni so I can get job/money/life
My friends are doing similar things, or already have job/life
I live far away from friends
I live far away from uni
Friends often do stuff together and I miss out because my distance doesn't allow me to just be like "oh I'll be over in 5", it's more like 1 hour
It takes me an hour to get to uni
Therefore - LOTS of time wasted in commute

Okay, why not throw yourself into uni work while you're stuck at home??
I am preoccupied keeping up with friends online seeing I can't do stuff with them
I am preoccupied just feeling left out cuz they can do stuff and I can't
I am depressed about it all
Therefore - Assignments just don't get done, I start failing stuff, I get more depressed

My parents drive me insane wanting to run my life and treat me like a five year old. Sure, I get a hell of a lot from them but I desperately need my freedom before I go insane.

Okay, option 1) So, move out, be near your friends and improve your social life and that will lead to better uni performance
Easier said than done
Moving out involves LOTS of money, which I lack
Centerlink will give me very little because I am a student and under 25 and am not considered independent for some pathetic reason
I have a cat that I love dearly that lives here and I wouldn't want to move her from the house she has lived at all her life, but I'd miss her like crazy if I moved out
There is a spa here
There is room here
I get free food and other comforts here
My ponies fit here (in the spare room)
I like this house, I just detest it's location

Option 2) Drop out of the unit you're failing and concentrate on the two you're doing good at. If you drop out your grade point average won't suffer.
If I drop out of this unit I will be doing under 15 hours per week which constitues a full load
This will affect my Youth Allowance payments a little
Or so I thought
I ring them and enquire
I find out that I get NOTHING if I do below a full load
I can apply for Newstart, and get alot of money, but I have to be looking for full time work
HELLO!! I am studying!!
I could pretend to look, but they would know I am studying and if you rort and are found out you get penalised alot
Why does it not surprise me that most people give the rort a go?
Therefore - I am screwed by Centerstink either way
I deal with a fail on my GPA, this unit IS NOT happening, the others barely are either

I drop out of uni altogether - my parents go spaz at me
Parents don't understand that I can't just "make friends around here" or "work harder and pass". My friends are ELSEWHERE and they are my FRIENDS, I want to be with THEM! And my brain just is not working because my circumstances have got me hideously depressed
Parents can't understand how me moving out could be better for me

Caught between a rock and a hard place some