Am I a control freak??
Apr. 28th, 2003 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gemfyreI did go through the whole angsty, I hate myself and want to die, death is romantic etc etc spew phase. But now I am so over it it's not funny. I'm on a self-improvement trip and I hate to see other people destroying their lives when they could do so much to build and enrich them.
I guess I have such a dislike for drugs and alcohol and cigarettes and other "poisons" because I hate the thought of letting an inanimate object control me. The mere thought of being addicted disgusts me. I also try my hardest not to hate or hold grudges, because that would prevent me from discovering the good stuff any person has to offer. I hate narrow-mindedness, why cut yourself from half of the world?? There is so much out there, and you will never see it all, so why deliberately prevent yourself from seeing some of it?
I can deal with having a human control me. I mean, that's the story of life, other people will always fuck up what you planned. But the thought of having an inanimate substance, or a petty feeling control me is just... ugh.
I guess I have such a dislike for drugs and alcohol and cigarettes and other "poisons" because I hate the thought of letting an inanimate object control me. The mere thought of being addicted disgusts me. I also try my hardest not to hate or hold grudges, because that would prevent me from discovering the good stuff any person has to offer. I hate narrow-mindedness, why cut yourself from half of the world?? There is so much out there, and you will never see it all, so why deliberately prevent yourself from seeing some of it?
I can deal with having a human control me. I mean, that's the story of life, other people will always fuck up what you planned. But the thought of having an inanimate substance, or a petty feeling control me is just... ugh.
