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Geeky funnies
Feb. 11th, 2006 08:16 amI've bolded what applies to me.
Reasons not to date a biology major:
1. They think that lab dissection is a proper dinner topic
2. If they ever get mad at you, those big thick biology books are a perfect
weapon.
3. They will use the name mudpuppy as a term of endearment.
4. They will attempt to impress you with phylogenic names eg:
Cephalochordata, Osteichthyes, or Placodermi.
5. If there is a spider on the floor they will inspect it meticulously
before squishing it.
6. They sleep with their dissecting kit underneath their pillow.
7. Who knows where those hands have been.
8. They will never believe that your 20 page paper on Wordsworth was as hard
as their Physiology test covering the nervous system, circulatory system,
mammalian kidney, the digestive system, the endocrine system......
9. They start saying "I must copiously micturate" instead of "boy I gotta
pee"
10.Reminiscing about fetal pig dissection is a favorite past time.
11.You find frozen rodents in the freezer. - and birds. And fish. And small mammals.
12.Dressing up as Watson or Crick was their favorite Halloween costume.
13.When eating lobster or crab they identify each part for you. - or whole chicken. Or whole fish.
14.They refuse to throw away three year old "Scientific America" magazines.
15.Three words--white lab coats
16.They practice stimulating nerves in their own arm with electrodes----and
like it.
17.They have a fetal pig head embalmed in a jar on their desk.
18.They will discuss the living habits of hookworms at the drop of a hat.
19.There are more plants in their room than outside.
20.They sneak away to dissect your deceased pet rat while you are not
looking.
21.Where ever they go they are followed by a few Drosophila.
22.Their jokes are composed of words only other biology majors understand
and are therefore never funny to the general public.
23.They have a tattoo of DNA on their arm.
24.One word: anal
25.Particularly prone to temporary insanity after a long night and morning
of studying such topics as transposons, Staphlococcal Enterotoxin, or
enzymes.
26.After studying for a long time, the word "enzymes" cracks them up.
27.After they graduate from college they get a job flipping burgers. - Well, at least that reassures me that I am not alone.
28.All their stories start out "Ya, one day I was in lab and...."
29.They attempt to diagnose you with bubonic plague.
30.They remind you about all the bacteria and microoraganisms that live on
your skin.
31. They collect unusual pets - snakes, hermit crabs, flatworms....
32. Propensity to discuss fecal colioform counts over dinner.
33. Other weird bio friends.
Reasons not to date a biology major:
1. They think that lab dissection is a proper dinner topic
2. If they ever get mad at you, those big thick biology books are a perfect
weapon.
3. They will use the name mudpuppy as a term of endearment.
4. They will attempt to impress you with phylogenic names eg:
Cephalochordata, Osteichthyes, or Placodermi.
5. If there is a spider on the floor they will inspect it meticulously
before squishing it.
6. They sleep with their dissecting kit underneath their pillow.
7. Who knows where those hands have been.
8. They will never believe that your 20 page paper on Wordsworth was as hard
as their Physiology test covering the nervous system, circulatory system,
mammalian kidney, the digestive system, the endocrine system......
9. They start saying "I must copiously micturate" instead of "boy I gotta
pee"
10.Reminiscing about fetal pig dissection is a favorite past time.
11.You find frozen rodents in the freezer. - and birds. And fish. And small mammals.
12.Dressing up as Watson or Crick was their favorite Halloween costume.
13.When eating lobster or crab they identify each part for you. - or whole chicken. Or whole fish.
14.They refuse to throw away three year old "Scientific America" magazines.
15.Three words--white lab coats
16.They practice stimulating nerves in their own arm with electrodes----and
like it.
17.They have a fetal pig head embalmed in a jar on their desk.
18.They will discuss the living habits of hookworms at the drop of a hat.
19.There are more plants in their room than outside.
20.They sneak away to dissect your deceased pet rat while you are not
looking.
21.Where ever they go they are followed by a few Drosophila.
22.Their jokes are composed of words only other biology majors understand
and are therefore never funny to the general public.
23.They have a tattoo of DNA on their arm.
24.One word: anal
25.Particularly prone to temporary insanity after a long night and morning
of studying such topics as transposons, Staphlococcal Enterotoxin, or
enzymes.
26.After studying for a long time, the word "enzymes" cracks them up.
27.After they graduate from college they get a job flipping burgers. - Well, at least that reassures me that I am not alone.
28.All their stories start out "Ya, one day I was in lab and...."
29.They attempt to diagnose you with bubonic plague.
30.They remind you about all the bacteria and microoraganisms that live on
your skin.
31. They collect unusual pets - snakes, hermit crabs, flatworms....
32. Propensity to discuss fecal colioform counts over dinner.
33. Other weird bio friends.
