Things can only get better
May. 24th, 2005 10:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gemfyreI blame this isolation from all my friends for so long for my brain going a tad haywire at the moment. It's kind of alarming, here I am in a happy, long term relationship and I'm regretting some things about the guy that drove me crazy for the majority of 1998. I hemmed and hawed over how much detail I'd give here in a public post. But really, at the time it wasn't much of a secret among the #perth-friends/#kelmscott crowd and I doubt many if any of them read my journal. Heck, even Steve himself may read this but I don't really care. I AM over him, and even though it could be nice to catch up on how we're both doing with our lives, I'mnot sure if I really want to lest it fuck things up, which by God it shouldn't, but I'm so hung up on memories all the time that it might.
It was weird, being great friends with someone who I was head over heels in love with, but it wasn't ever reciprocated. People knew, some of his friends knew, his ex even figured something was up and got shat at me for it. Which was ironic seeing as she was the one who dumped him thus sending him spiralling into fits of depression that I would spend long hours talking him out of. Seems that I have a thing for "saving" guys from their exes that I never met. Matt has one ex that I know about who I'd bitchslap if I ever met her, because of what she did to him, even though if she hadn't done so I wouldn't have him. We called each other, we went out, it just... never got any damn further and the last few days I started to muse about what I did or maybe didn't do to get anything happening. In retrospect it would have ruined me. I would not be where I am now if I'd ended up in that relationship. Instead 2 weeks later I met Matt and because of him I applied to do Animal Care at TAFE, then figured that yeah, I could get into uni at 21 and I did. If I'd ended up with Steve god knows what would have happened to me.
So there, now you know. Last night I had a lot more musing in my head but I've had a day since and I think hopefully my brain has ceased that train of thought. Looking forward to lots of Matt squidges while he's up here. :)
Tomorrow morning I get to spend 4 hours at Campsite watching waders. Tough job sometimes, but some poor sod's gotta do it! 'Night peeps!
It was weird, being great friends with someone who I was head over heels in love with, but it wasn't ever reciprocated. People knew, some of his friends knew, his ex even figured something was up and got shat at me for it. Which was ironic seeing as she was the one who dumped him thus sending him spiralling into fits of depression that I would spend long hours talking him out of. Seems that I have a thing for "saving" guys from their exes that I never met. Matt has one ex that I know about who I'd bitchslap if I ever met her, because of what she did to him, even though if she hadn't done so I wouldn't have him. We called each other, we went out, it just... never got any damn further and the last few days I started to muse about what I did or maybe didn't do to get anything happening. In retrospect it would have ruined me. I would not be where I am now if I'd ended up in that relationship. Instead 2 weeks later I met Matt and because of him I applied to do Animal Care at TAFE, then figured that yeah, I could get into uni at 21 and I did. If I'd ended up with Steve god knows what would have happened to me.
So there, now you know. Last night I had a lot more musing in my head but I've had a day since and I think hopefully my brain has ceased that train of thought. Looking forward to lots of Matt squidges while he's up here. :)
Tomorrow morning I get to spend 4 hours at Campsite watching waders. Tough job sometimes, but some poor sod's gotta do it! 'Night peeps!
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Date: 2005-05-25 02:12 am (UTC)I think in the last couple of months I've been starting to get over hating her, and now I'm kinda glad she did it also, as I've met so many crazy and wonderful people since that I wouldn't know myself.
I'm glad I can make a positive change to your life, and that you recognise that I have :)
Loves you heaps