The vicious circle of things

[gemfyre]

I need to finish degree at uni so I can get job/money/life
My friends are doing similar things, or already have job/life
I live far away from friends
I live far away from uni
Friends often do stuff together and I miss out because my distance doesn't allow me to just be like "oh I'll be over in 5", it's more like 1 hour
It takes me an hour to get to uni
Therefore - LOTS of time wasted in commute

Okay, why not throw yourself into uni work while you're stuck at home??
I am preoccupied keeping up with friends online seeing I can't do stuff with them
I am preoccupied just feeling left out cuz they can do stuff and I can't
I am depressed about it all
Therefore - Assignments just don't get done, I start failing stuff, I get more depressed

My parents drive me insane wanting to run my life and treat me like a five year old. Sure, I get a hell of a lot from them but I desperately need my freedom before I go insane.

Okay, option 1) So, move out, be near your friends and improve your social life and that will lead to better uni performance
Easier said than done
Moving out involves LOTS of money, which I lack
Centerlink will give me very little because I am a student and under 25 and am not considered independent for some pathetic reason
I have a cat that I love dearly that lives here and I wouldn't want to move her from the house she has lived at all her life, but I'd miss her like crazy if I moved out
There is a spa here
There is room here
I get free food and other comforts here
My ponies fit here (in the spare room)
I like this house, I just detest it's location

Option 2) Drop out of the unit you're failing and concentrate on the two you're doing good at. If you drop out your grade point average won't suffer.
If I drop out of this unit I will be doing under 15 hours per week which constitues a full load
This will affect my Youth Allowance payments a little
Or so I thought
I ring them and enquire
I find out that I get NOTHING if I do below a full load
I can apply for Newstart, and get alot of money, but I have to be looking for full time work
HELLO!! I am studying!!
I could pretend to look, but they would know I am studying and if you rort and are found out you get penalised alot
Why does it not surprise me that most people give the rort a go?
Therefore - I am screwed by Centerstink either way
I deal with a fail on my GPA, this unit IS NOT happening, the others barely are either

I drop out of uni altogether - my parents go spaz at me
Parents don't understand that I can't just "make friends around here" or "work harder and pass". My friends are ELSEWHERE and they are my FRIENDS, I want to be with THEM! And my brain just is not working because my circumstances have got me hideously depressed
Parents can't understand how me moving out could be better for me

Caught between a rock and a hard place some

Comments

[blacksun74.livejournal.com]

Ok first i think you have a case of the I d ont like my program but dont want to admit it or dont realize it. Ast least that is what it sounds like. second Im also in university and if your only in there to get a job and make money than my advise to you is go to college because university is painful and if you dont love what your doing you'll never reap the benefits cause alot of the the benefits are intellectual and it takes a long time before you reach any monetary satisfaction of course it depends on what your taking. Secons friends are extremely important do not leave them out of your life and make time for them but mon-fri is school time if you keep that on track youll be okay. third its only the second week get o top of things now because feeling the pressure of being behind will always put a damperon things and one bad or missed assignment or class willjust lead to another...just my adivse I hope you figure things our though:)

Clarifying

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

I'm studying toward a Conservation Biology degree, which is an area I love, it's tough, but I like it alot and it's "my calling" I guess. When I got out of high school I did Human Services at TAFE and HATED it, then went and did Animal Care at TAFE and LOVED it so applied for uni and got in *bounces*. I'm still excited that I got in!!

The problem is one particular compulsory unit - Environmental Policy & Law. It's not a biol unit, it's a bloody law unit and I am not doing law, I HATE law, I don't want to do law. If I need a hand with the law I will hire a lawyer. My mind just sticks up a mental brick wall and refuses to even try (at least this time around). The whole unit does nothing but piss me off because it just reinforces what I believe - that the law is pathetic.

Ah yes, and here in Australia it's halfway through second semester. :) Not the second week like I guess it is in Canada.

[sassamifrass.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm sorry everything is so confusing at the moment.

When you get some free time (maybe over the two week break?) let's go and do stuff. You could come sleep over or something, so that you'd be down here for at least two days, that way you could do stuff with the people 'round here for.. two days *realises how dumb that sounds*

Go out for half-price waffles on Tuesday/Wednesday at Freo =)

Something. I empathise with you. I also want to offer myself as someone to listen to you in person should you want to rant or get things off your chest.

I guess that's all I had to say... *feels like she forgot something*

sassa

Re:

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

Aww. That's so nice to hear that *feels special* :)

First week of two week break is field work *rolls eyes*, second week however hopefully there won't be _too_ much number crunching or report writing required so I can do stuff with peeps.

There is also talk of possible accomodations becoming available next year... I dunno if I can hold out that long.

I guess I'll see what happens.