The windmills of your mind

Goddamnit whenever I breathe in I launch into a coughing fit which does nothing but make it harder for me to breathe and makes my chest and throat hurt.

There's things I want to do... maybe. I can't really decide. Everyone else does it, it's fun and all. But I'm afraid of it being misconstrued. It already has resulted in misunderstandings which then lead to hideous breaches of trust and such, and trust is really hard to earn and gain back. Also, even tho I may want to give these things a go. Something in me always feels a wrongness to it. Does everybody else feel the wrongness but do it anyway? Or am I just weird? Maybe frigid or something?

I don't know.

The windmills of your mind

Goddamnit whenever I breathe in I launch into a coughing fit which does nothing but make it harder for me to breathe and makes my chest and throat hurt.

There's things I want to do... maybe. I can't really decide. Everyone else does it, it's fun and all. But I'm afraid of it being misconstrued. It already has resulted in misunderstandings which then lead to hideous breaches of trust and such, and trust is really hard to earn and gain back. Also, even tho I may want to give these things a go. Something in me always feels a wrongness to it. Does everybody else feel the wrongness but do it anyway? Or am I just weird? Maybe frigid or something?

I don't know.