Hurricane

Some people are severly fucked up. They desperately need psychiatric help.

How dare they think they have the right to meddle in other people's lives and make them feel like shit.

I just wanna slap this person silly. I thought they were my friend... guess not.

Hurricane

Some people are severly fucked up. They desperately need psychiatric help.

How dare they think they have the right to meddle in other people's lives and make them feel like shit.

I just wanna slap this person silly. I thought they were my friend... guess not.

Ponderances

I feel a bit calmer now. Just hope I can stomach dinner.

I'm seriously thinking I'll settle for a cheaper computer and struggle for a while and get the heck out of my parent's house. At the moment what I most need is independence. I think it's possibly one of my main problems, my dependence on certain people.

I'll hafta find some people I won't throttle to live with me. Anyone wanting to move out? Somewhere not too far from the city preferably. Reasonably cheap, I'm thinking maybe a place that already has some furnishings and that has bills included in the rent. Bills scare me.

Moving out will answer a few important questions for me.

Ponderances

I feel a bit calmer now. Just hope I can stomach dinner.

I'm seriously thinking I'll settle for a cheaper computer and struggle for a while and get the heck out of my parent's house. At the moment what I most need is independence. I think it's possibly one of my main problems, my dependence on certain people.

I'll hafta find some people I won't throttle to live with me. Anyone wanting to move out? Somewhere not too far from the city preferably. Reasonably cheap, I'm thinking maybe a place that already has some furnishings and that has bills included in the rent. Bills scare me.

Moving out will answer a few important questions for me.

Ouch

I feel like someone's taking a knife to my stomach. I just want it to go away but it's one of those feelings that will just have to fade over time.

Some I can forgive easily, others will take a bit longer.

I just wanna be in Matt's arms and talking for... however long we need. But in real life you must get on with real life for a while. So we will.

I clear my mind and calm down then that horrible vision just comes flashing back and I wanna rush to the toilet and puke my guts up.

Ouch... ah well, I'm gonna limp off and have a bath and try to settle down again.

I feel dirty, violated and betrayed by a person I thought was a good friend and that I trusted.

And on the other hand I'm forgiving and loving, I can't hate who I love, and I know now more than ever that I can trust them.

Maybe it's bias, but that's what happens when you love someone. It's gonna take every ounce of effort in me not to cling NOW, but I musn't. I have to do things for my self and be independent, then we can discover just why we love each other again.

Ouch

I feel like someone's taking a knife to my stomach. I just want it to go away but it's one of those feelings that will just have to fade over time.

Some I can forgive easily, others will take a bit longer.

I just wanna be in Matt's arms and talking for... however long we need. But in real life you must get on with real life for a while. So we will.

I clear my mind and calm down then that horrible vision just comes flashing back and I wanna rush to the toilet and puke my guts up.

Ouch... ah well, I'm gonna limp off and have a bath and try to settle down again.

I feel dirty, violated and betrayed by a person I thought was a good friend and that I trusted.

And on the other hand I'm forgiving and loving, I can't hate who I love, and I know now more than ever that I can trust them.

Maybe it's bias, but that's what happens when you love someone. It's gonna take every ounce of effort in me not to cling NOW, but I musn't. I have to do things for my self and be independent, then we can discover just why we love each other again.