Watch out for those Dropbears!!!

These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie.

1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking

3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10.Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna BoysChoir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

16. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

21. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

22. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Watch out for those Dropbears!!!

These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie.

1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking

3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10.Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna BoysChoir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

16. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

21. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

22. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Ironic...

The AC/DC movie is mainly about Bon Scott. It is called Thunderstruck.

Thunderstruck was recorded almost a decade after Bon died.

I really think John from karaoke needs to be involved in this. :)

Ironic...

The AC/DC movie is mainly about Bon Scott. It is called Thunderstruck.

Thunderstruck was recorded almost a decade after Bon died.

I really think John from karaoke needs to be involved in this. :)

Re : Post a few down...

I'm amazed one of the questions wasn't "Can I ride a kangaroo?"


I am soooooooooo jealous of David Attenborough. Just watched the first installment of Life of Mammals. He's there in this lil' dinghy of a boat and about 3 metres away there's this bloody BLUE WHALE!!! coming to the surface for a breath. Amazing. Not to mention the great footage of the Yapok and Platypus.

Gives me ideas for research. The yapok is the only aquatic marsupial and it is able to close off it's pouch so the babies don't drown. But as David commented, they must be close to suffocation by the time mum leaves the water. I wish there were the resources to research that. Perhaps this animal possesses some way of still transferring oxygen to the young? Or the young are specially adapted to not need so much air, what is this adaptation? There is so much we don't know, and I want to find out and know it just for the sheer sake of knowing. Why must knowledge always have a reason?

Re : Post a few down...

I'm amazed one of the questions wasn't "Can I ride a kangaroo?"


I am soooooooooo jealous of David Attenborough. Just watched the first installment of Life of Mammals. He's there in this lil' dinghy of a boat and about 3 metres away there's this bloody BLUE WHALE!!! coming to the surface for a breath. Amazing. Not to mention the great footage of the Yapok and Platypus.

Gives me ideas for research. The yapok is the only aquatic marsupial and it is able to close off it's pouch so the babies don't drown. But as David commented, they must be close to suffocation by the time mum leaves the water. I wish there were the resources to research that. Perhaps this animal possesses some way of still transferring oxygen to the young? Or the young are specially adapted to not need so much air, what is this adaptation? There is so much we don't know, and I want to find out and know it just for the sheer sake of knowing. Why must knowledge always have a reason?

Hey wow look

My connection has gone cactus again.

Hey wow look

My connection has gone cactus again.

Too many books...

Went to the library again today.

Too many good books. I should write a list and read them in order and cross them off as I'm done. Then I will perpetually have books to read.

Got Chase out, should take me 5 minutes to read that one because it's quite short. Tis the last Koontz book I need to read, then I have read them all... until he releases something new that is.

Too many books...

Went to the library again today.

Too many good books. I should write a list and read them in order and cross them off as I'm done. Then I will perpetually have books to read.

Got Chase out, should take me 5 minutes to read that one because it's quite short. Tis the last Koontz book I need to read, then I have read them all... until he releases something new that is.

Tell someone who doesn't regard you as an argument for compulsory sterilization

Mum is watching Jerry Springer. The video screwed up and taped it instead of Days Of Our Lives. DOOL is marginally better but mum was like "oh I always wanted to see this show." So she's watching it.

Shit, people who endorse and support these sorts of shows should be sterilised. They should NOT be allowed to breed. One of the women on today was pregnant. I feel really really sorry for the kid who probably is going to grow up to be as dumb as it's parents.

Oh yeah, and don't you just love Jerry's little bullshit spiel at the end about how these people are acting like they are because they are hurt and that we should all love each other blah blah blah.

No, they are acting like that because they are DUMB!! You, Jerry are smart in a sick, sad kind of way because you've discovered how to make money of people's stupidity.

Tell someone who doesn't regard you as an argument for compulsory sterilization

Mum is watching Jerry Springer. The video screwed up and taped it instead of Days Of Our Lives. DOOL is marginally better but mum was like "oh I always wanted to see this show." So she's watching it.

Shit, people who endorse and support these sorts of shows should be sterilised. They should NOT be allowed to breed. One of the women on today was pregnant. I feel really really sorry for the kid who probably is going to grow up to be as dumb as it's parents.

Oh yeah, and don't you just love Jerry's little bullshit spiel at the end about how these people are acting like they are because they are hurt and that we should all love each other blah blah blah.

No, they are acting like that because they are DUMB!! You, Jerry are smart in a sick, sad kind of way because you've discovered how to make money of people's stupidity.

Something is eating my underwear

First I can't find my orange pair of Bonds knickers, now the blue ones have gone AWOL.

This is my best underwear and it's just disappearing!!

Something is eating my underwear

First I can't find my orange pair of Bonds knickers, now the blue ones have gone AWOL.

This is my best underwear and it's just disappearing!!

PMS??

What is it about PMS??
Why do females feel the right to blame all their faults on PMS?

I have never experienced PMS, if I am being bitch it's because I'm being a bitch, not because I have PMS.

I really ponder what it is like to have genuine PMS...

PMS??

What is it about PMS??
Why do females feel the right to blame all their faults on PMS?

I have never experienced PMS, if I am being bitch it's because I'm being a bitch, not because I have PMS.

I really ponder what it is like to have genuine PMS...