Am I a control freak??

[gemfyre]

I did go through the whole angsty, I hate myself and want to die, death is romantic etc etc spew phase. But now I am so over it it's not funny. I'm on a self-improvement trip and I hate to see other people destroying their lives when they could do so much to build and enrich them.

I guess I have such a dislike for drugs and alcohol and cigarettes and other "poisons" because I hate the thought of letting an inanimate object control me. The mere thought of being addicted disgusts me. I also try my hardest not to hate or hold grudges, because that would prevent me from discovering the good stuff any person has to offer. I hate narrow-mindedness, why cut yourself from half of the world?? There is so much out there, and you will never see it all, so why deliberately prevent yourself from seeing some of it?

I can deal with having a human control me. I mean, that's the story of life, other people will always fuck up what you planned. But the thought of having an inanimate substance, or a petty feeling control me is just... ugh.

Comments

[sassamifrass.livejournal.com]

I know EXACTLY what you mean (I so am some weird mutant version of you :P)

I did the same thing, and now am desperately trying to drag other friends out of their similar ruts, but it seems like nobody but the person themselves can ever really make a difference.. you can say every helpful thing in the world but they still won't understand until they come out of the phase after X period of time.. meh.

[mcowgirl.livejournal.com]

welcome to my world...=) its exactly why i stepped away from the goth/m2 crowd the people i chose to associate with i still do (ie you kowren matt terry wuffie wayne etc) but too much cutting/soap opera/alcohol/sex/drugs going on... people just need to step back and look in from the outside

[wolflullaby.livejournal.com]

Hey...who is this?? *peers at the screen*

Re:

[mcowgirl.livejournal.com]

*ELISA********