gemfyre | Perhaps the truest song ever written

Well hi there
Thank you for downloading another fine quality comedy product from Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie and your friends at MP3.com
Good for you
Of course if you've downloaded this from Napster screw you!
You know what free isn't good enough for ya?
You gotta rip us off?
That's okay
I will find you
And I will kill you

Hahahaha

You see, I come from a time in the nineteen hundred and seventies
When computers were used for two things
To either go to the moon, or play Pong, nothin' in between you see
And you didn't need a fancy operating system to play pong and the men who went to the moon God bless 'em did it with no mouse
And a plain text only black and white screen and thirty two kilobytes of RAM

Then 'round about the late seventies home computers started to do a little more than play Pong
Very little more
Why computers started to play games and balance chequebooks
Why you could play Zaxxon on your Apple II or write a book
All with a computer that had thirty two kilobytes of RAM
It was enough to go to the moon, it was enough for you
It was a golden time
A time before Windows
A time before mouses
A time before the internet and bloatware
And a time before every OS sucked

Well way back in the olden times my computer worked for me
I'd laugh and play all night and day on Zork one, two and three
The Amiga, Vic 20 and Sinclair two, the TRS 80 and the Apple II
They did what they where supposed to do
It wasn't much but it was enough
But then Xerox made a prototype
Steve Jobs came on the scene
Read of mice and menus, windows, icons, trash and a bitmapped screen
Oh Stevie said to Xerox "Boys, turn your heads and cough."
And when no-one was looking he ripped their interfaces off
Stole every feature that he had seen
Put it in a cute box with a tiny little screen
MacOS ran that machine
Only cost 5000 bucks
But it was slow, it was buggy, so they wrote it again
And now they're up to OS ten
They'll charge you for the beta, then charge you again
But the MacOS still sucks

Every OS wastes your time
From the desktop to the lap
Every thing since Apple DOS
Just a bunch of crap
From Microsoft and Macintosh
To Lin-Ly-Lin-Ly-nux
Evey computer crashes
'Cause every OS sucks

Well then Microsoft jumped in the game
Copied Apple's interface with an OS named
Windows three point one
It was twice as lame
But the stock price rose and rose
Then Windows 95, then 98
Man, solitaire never ran so great
And every single version came out late
But I guess thats the way it goes

But that bloatware will crash and delete your work
NT, ME man none of them work
Bill Gates may be richer than Captain Kirk
But the Windows OS blows
And sucks, at the same time

I'd trade it in, yeah right, for what?
It's top of the line from the Compuhut
The fridge, stove and toaster never crash on me
I should be able to get online without a PhD
My phone doesn't take a week to boot it
My TV doesn't crash when I mute it
I miss ascii text and my floppy drive
I wish Vic 20 was still alive

But it ain't the hardware man
It's just that every OS sucks
And blows

Now theres Lin-ux or Ly-nux
I don't know how you say it
Or how you install it or use it or play it
Or where you download it or what programs run
But Lin-ux or Ly-nux don't look like much fun
However you say it it's getting great press
Though how it survives is anyones guess
If you ask me it's a great big mess
For elitist nerdy schmucks
"It's free!" They say
If you can get it to run
The geeks say "Hey, thats half the fun."
Yeah, but I've got a girlfriend and things to get done
The Linux OS sucks
I'm sorry to say it but it does

Every OS wastes your time
From the desktop to the lap
Everything since the abacus, just a bunch of crap
From Microsoft and Macintosh
To Lin-Ly-Lin-Ly-nux
Every computer crashes cause evey OS sucks
Every computer crashes cause evey OS sucks