Mountains out of molehills
Oct. 20th, 2002 07:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gemfyreMan the guy who invented showers is a fucking genius. Sure, I like to get a little sweaty and dirty, but perhaps only because it increases the pleasure of sloughing it all off at the end of the day and feeling human again.
More pseudo-deep frustrated skewed thoughts from me. I'm trying to get people to understand. I don't need a diagnosis, I just need a hand here.
Last night. Walking from the car to the door at Matt's place. I was walking beside Matt and Kitty was on the other side. But after a few steps I find myself being steered toward the garden and being forced to walk behind while they walked side by side. And I thought again, why I am always the one pushed back, left behind, made to follow?? Why can't I walk beside and be equal dammit?? I'm sure no-one else saw it that way but in my eyes in my world it seems to happen over and over and I don't know if it's a conspiracy against me or just my skewed view and how do I stop myself seeing it like that? Or should people just think and go "hey, why is she tagging along? Come walk beside me, not behind me, I'll make some space for you."
I REALLY REALLY had a GREAT birthday (the actual day, last Saturday), it was one of the darn nicest days I've had in ages.
Expect more stuff like this as I think of it and try and sort out this mess that is my brain.
More pseudo-deep frustrated skewed thoughts from me. I'm trying to get people to understand. I don't need a diagnosis, I just need a hand here.
Last night. Walking from the car to the door at Matt's place. I was walking beside Matt and Kitty was on the other side. But after a few steps I find myself being steered toward the garden and being forced to walk behind while they walked side by side. And I thought again, why I am always the one pushed back, left behind, made to follow?? Why can't I walk beside and be equal dammit?? I'm sure no-one else saw it that way but in my eyes in my world it seems to happen over and over and I don't know if it's a conspiracy against me or just my skewed view and how do I stop myself seeing it like that? Or should people just think and go "hey, why is she tagging along? Come walk beside me, not behind me, I'll make some space for you."
I REALLY REALLY had a GREAT birthday (the actual day, last Saturday), it was one of the darn nicest days I've had in ages.
Expect more stuff like this as I think of it and try and sort out this mess that is my brain.
