I want to have my cake and eat it too.

[gemfyre]

Nobody is perfect.
Nobody will ever be perfect for someone else.

But bits of many people can provide all the parts of a perfect person, and most are perfectly willing to accept the flaws as well.

So - why is it not the acceptable thing to have a lot of people, and enjoy the little bits of perfection in them all?

Comments

[firvulag.livejournal.com]

Cos life would be simple then and for some reason that isn't allowable. Oh, and you'd have to put up with all the flaws of all the people aswell.

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

But as long as there is a bit if perfect it always far outshines any flaws.

*hugs*

[jassalol.livejournal.com]

I think the flaws of all the people would be more likely to make it more complex, not less. Than again, I suppose it depends on the emotional depth of the relationship/s.

Am I even making sense in the previous sentence?

[miwasatoshi.livejournal.com]

I think the flaws of all the people would be more likely to make it more complex, not less.

Exactly.

I also do not equate emotional intimacy with sexual intimacy. Considering that the feelings that I have for many of my friends are on the same level, if not deeper, than toset of siblings, you run into a situation similar to the incest taboo. There is also the fact that I am simply not sexually attracted to men.

I imagine that if my wife were supportive of polyamory, I would explore it more seriously, but seeing as she is not, I simply don't go there. Frankly, I don't think it *could* work for me ... I'm too whimsical, demanding, and irritating for multiple people to stand being intimate with me at once.

But if people can make it work for them, hey, more power to 'em.

Too bad 100% of poly relationships I've seen have been pretenses for power trips (a situation all too common with monogamous relationships, and the danger of which is compounded by the lack of jealousy in a perpetrator's partners).

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

Not acceptable my ass.

I can and do live, having my cake and eating it too, and XXXX to anyone who says i can't, or condemns me for it. I have more than enough attention for more than one person, and if i was forced to put all my time, energy and attention into one person - they'd be worn out and mentally committed within a week.... not a good idea, so sharing it out is a VERY good idea ^_^

Callistra has an amazing quote which is applicable here:

"If you ultimately respect yourself, then everything you do, will be ultimately respectable"

Its currently the thought formost in my mind, and given the various fringes and alternatives that are my everyday reality, it helps get through some of the longer and more difficult days... of which lately there have been thankfully few ^_^ even considering starting a new job, and in a government department of all things ^_^ so, needless to say, i'm ecstatic ^_^

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know you're one of those open people.

And you and Kaneda seem AWFULLY happy most of the time so from what I've seen it certainly works.

My main problem is jealousy - in myself and others - it's a feeling I wish didn't exist.

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

its tackleable though? its not impossible - its along the lines of making a deliberate choice to change certain reactions/thought processes - what are they except a waste of energy in any case? energy that could be put to much better use in hugging someone ^_^ *purrrrrrrr* on that note, you are gorgeous and sweet and good company - so you have nothing to be jealous of others for ^_^ you have your own special and valuable place in the lives of those you know and care about, and vice versa... does that make sense at all?

mmmm kaneda *blissful sigh*

happy ^_^ *bounce bounce bounce bounce*

we make a lot of room for each other to be individual... it helps... the less restriction we pose, the less we seem to feel about and move it... if that also makes sense, perhaps a better way to say it would be, less of a need to use such lack of restriction...

[jet-ski.livejournal.com]

Flaws do make for complications.
Poly relationships sometimes do make for ugly power trips.
Some people are cut out for it and others aren't.
My ex ran off with the first other person she got involved with in our attempt at polyamoury. She's with her in London as we speak.
One of the girls I was with completely shut me out of her life for a reason I couldn't comprehend. The s ense of loss for me was pretty overwhelming.
The other girl is in Holland and I didn't even know her last name.

[kittikattie.livejournal.com]

I think it's perfectly acceptable. If you're willing to try, you may find that poly works for you. Just remember, that polyamory is not polyfuckery. Every person I've slept with, even if for that hour or so I slept with them, I've had a bonding with. I don't just fuck because a person's pretty.

I have damn near everything in Brent that I could want. But he understands that I like women and it's a side of me I like. So he's been very open. If one day he were to tell me no, I would drop a person without any thought, and before I do anything I get his approval and rules. And it works well.

There is nothing wrong with having more than one person. Monogamy does not work for all people.

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

What she said ^_^

I don't think it is a case of 'not acceptable' and more of a case that its still not popular, a good thing, and there are a LOT of pitfalls on the way... it ISN'T for everyone, anymore than monogamy is, once again definitions seem to narrow things too much...

My general philosophy is what works for me/you... As long as there is honesty and communication between parties, there's not a lot to object to.