(no subject)

[gemfyre]

This social norm of monogamy sucks.

Why can't we have multiple people, all who make us happy in one way or another?

Then when you want a certain kind of happiness you go to that certain person.

Then I wouldn't have to be sad.

Comments

[softpaw.livejournal.com]

well why stick to the norm? I know many pollyamours *I know I misspelled that* folk. nearly all of whom I met here on LJ

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

Ah but the problem is most of the people I would be polygamous with also believe in monogamy.

As do I... or did... I dunno, I'm changing.

There's still that nasty, evil emotion called jealousy. Whoever invented that should be shot.

[softpaw.livejournal.com]

blame pandora

[sassamifrass.livejournal.com]

I think there are many different forms of what I would call monogamous relationships that others might call polygamous relationships. It depends on the people involved.

[terrycat.livejournal.com]

I'll be your massage other. as long as i can be other peoples massage other.

[arkem.livejournal.com]

It's a wonderful idea. I approve.

Unfortunately our culture dissaproves so we are hard-wired by society to be jealous. It takes a strong will to even attempt to break that conditioning.

I know I've tried and I've failed. All I achieved was that I really loathe myself when I become jealous :)

I agree

[sunnyshagg.livejournal.com]

Can I vote on that one? If I had the few men I have in my life all for separate reasons I would be happy. One man can not make me happy. Plain and simple. Maybe I am just picky? Or maybe the men in my life just suck.

[riverstar.livejournal.com]

monogamy is the social norm
and even i follow it these days to a degree. i dont cheat on partners...but eventually it all breaks down because im not happy. In fact im sick of sticking to that norm.... im happier without it i think

[shrika.livejournal.com]

I disagree that monogamy is the social norm. Look at me out of all my friends I am the only one married. Nearly all my friends have been cheated on, where the 'other' person or was a cheater. Plus look at the divorce rate, that also implies a lack of monogamy so... yeah I think I made my point.

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

You don't have to be married to be monogamous.

[shrika.livejournal.com]

does according to the dictionary

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

dictionary schmictionary.
I'm talking about real life.

[tigernic.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with your point on this issue, and you're really lucky to have found someone you're completely happy with and in love with so early in your life, unfortunately, most of us aren't that lucky and it takes a long time before we do find that *right* person, but usually when we have found them, then monogamy does set in, and you generally have no problem with cheating. I think that people cheat because they're unhappy in their r/ships and they're not working, so instead of doing the right thing and ending that r/ship like they should, they go out and find someone else to fulfill their needs, at least that's my reasoning for cheating i've done in past r/ships, which i'm not at all proud of, and if i could change things and do them the right way, i would. I have finally found the person i want to spend the rest of my life with, like you have, and now i can say i am finally 100% happy =)

[tigernic.livejournal.com]

My reply was meant to go under Jade's first post, so no one gets confused, sorry! =)

[odindeathcrush.livejournal.com]

polyamory

:)

[shadowshifter.livejournal.com]

you can have multiple people that make you happy in one way or another. theyre called friends just in case people remember what platonic relationships are.

why is there this insane incessant need for absolutely everything to be centred around fucking?

[aurickandrien.livejournal.com]

personally seeing as I'm never going to have sexual intercourse in my whole entire life, because I'm never ever going to develop to the point where I'll actually get into that sort of a relationship, I don't see the point in centering anything around fucking.

[terrycat.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

[arkem.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/community/polyamory/639692.html

Interesting post about polyamorous relationships that don't involve sex.

[sassamifrass.livejournal.com]

:D

Go dudelio!

[wolflullaby.livejournal.com]

I think the problem with mainstream relationships comes from the way a lot of people set up their lives. They work full time, they have all these commitments, and for some people it comes down to a choice between their other half OR their friends, but not both, and so they choose their other half.

I mean, you hear all the stories about people getting married and then never hanging out with their friends again. I make a real effort to hang out with my friends a lot because I know that if I am not careful I will end up spending all my time with my b/f, because it is easier. I don't have to go out or make any effort or organise anything to spend time with him, he is just there. I think that a lot of people find they feel the same way and neglect their friendships, and maybe that is why they end up unfulfilled.

A kick arse book on nonmonogomy....

[(Anonymous)]

I highly recomend "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" by Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Liszt

Bug me & I'll lend you my copy at some point. But its a great guide on how to make nonmonogomy work in a society where monogomy is considered "stable" & "normal".

-LisA.

Re: A kick arse book on nonmonogomy....

[vectorfrog.livejournal.com]

that book is like my bible.

[mcowgirl.livejournal.com]

Welcome to my world...the fantastic world of swingers clubs and casual alliances. I love my girlfriend but what i dont get from her i get elsewhere. richard is the same.
The Ethical Slut is exactly who i am and im proud of it.
polyamory rocks!

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

I'm not wanting to screw everyone under the sun, that goes against everything I believe in.

I just want someone who can give me the "half" of the relationship that is missing but keep the other person who provides the other "half" as well.

*grin*

[(Anonymous)]

That's nonmonogomy as well... isn't it grand??

[vectorfrog.livejournal.com]

"Then when you want a certain kind of happiness you go to that certain person."


Amen!

[tinkler.livejournal.com]

Omg....

I...understand!

Right now I am in a polyamarous relationship, and I am very VERY happy....adn well....no one else seems to be :(

People keep telling me to get rid of my parnter so I won't get hurt....and them telling me that out of "concern" hurts more than anything..

hmm

[(Anonymous)]

Is it better to be "unfaithful" & have everyone know what the situation is or to be faithful without wanting to be?

Sounds like you are in a open & trusting relationship- are you happy? Is there trust? If so tell everyone else to fuck themselves :P

Re: hmm

[tinkler.livejournal.com]

I am happy, and thats why I am still with him :)

Other people just have a hard time accepting....or at least being nice about it! They can have thier opinions...and I can have mine

[ex-myladysi.livejournal.com]

touchofgrey knows a lot about polyamory, and has some great links about it! I'm sure she'd talk with you, if you wanted.

[ex-myladysi.livejournal.com]

I just remembered that I saved her post on it, so this might also help:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/touchofgrey/100709.html